Lately, I’ve been using the term Procrasturbate and am shocked to see that very few people have actually heard of the term! For those that don’t know, Procrasturbation is the art form of wasting time by let’s just say… paintin’ the ceiling. I know it is a very intimibating subject, but luckily for you, I am a Procraster-master! 

Procrasturbation, AKA Batin’ and waitin,’ is a very common phenomenon that happens all the time. Maybe you had a long day at work and you just need some time to relax before the Big Bowling Tourney at 8pm. But, uh oh, you can’t just bowl with a boner and look at the clock- it is STILL only 6:30PM! What else are you supposed to do in this situation?

Now, this is the classic dilemma, but there are tons of different ways one can procrasturbate as well. Let’s say, you are waiting for an important call from your boss, but have nothing to do in the meantime. Turn the phone’s ring volume up and start ‘doing what your mama told you not to’ until you hear the phone ring- Then get ready for that big promotion! This is a style of batin’ that procrasturbators like to call the ol’ Bate N’ Switch. 

I know that this subject can be deBated over and over again, but think about it. You could procrasturbate OR you could spend your spare time being a homewrecker and sending dirty pictures to married men. And we’ve all heard that story right?

So now that you have learned dear reader, I ask you this question: What do you have to say about procrasturbation?

-Professor Intern Scott, Certified Procrasturbator 7 years and counting.